Marriage & Miracles
“And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage. And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come. His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it. And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins apiece. Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim. And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare it. When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants which drew the water knew;) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom, And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now. This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on him.” (John 2:1-11)
It has always stood out to my attention that the very first miracle performed by the Son of God during His earthly ministry took place at the wedding in Cana, which in itself was a blessing to God’s institution of marriage. Add to that the fact that the very first human relationship designed by our Creator was also marriage. I think we can safely conclude that marriage is right up there with the most important topics when it comes to what God deems vital and valuable, so it ought to have an important place in our priorities and practice, as well. I also think it’s safe to say that miracles and marriage go together quite naturally!
Growing up in the 60s and 70s, I was subjected to all the same anti-Bible brain-washing and marriage-bashing that the rest of my generation received. The Barbie-doll swinging single lifestyle was paraded before us incessantly to convince us that singles (and blondes) have more fun, less responsibility, and a much more satisfying existence. What a lie! God made mankind with the need for our God-designed ‘other half’ and created us spiritually, emotionally and physically to be completed as one flesh in marriage.
‘Anything boys can do, girls can do better,’ was the commercial jingle ringing in our ears. Girls have been programmed by the culture to compete, not complete, at a young age turning us 180 degrees, in total opposition to the idea God had in mind. The anti-woman, anti-happiness ‘feminist’ movement has so poisoned our thinking against men and marriage that we need years of Bible mind-cleansing, and probably still can never completely undo the demonic brain-washing of the liberal media, 12 to 16 years of the godless educational system, and the prevailing anti-Christian attitudes of the day.
Anytime I hear some humanist accuse a Christian of being ‘brain-washed’ my first thought is that my brain truly needs to be washed clean of all their filthy propaganda and lies, and only the Word of God can do it! “Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.” (John 17:17) In fact, it’s in a passage about marriage where the Bible refers to “...the washing of water by the word...” (Ephesians 5:26)
Not only were we girls challenged to turn sour against the institution of marriage, but boys were taught to see marriage as a noose around their neck, instead of God’s calling to love as Christ does. “No man is complete until he’s married; and afterward he’s finished!” Instead of anticipating spending a lifetime with the love of your life, marriage has been touted as the ultimate trap for guys to steer clear and run from.
It was only the beginning, but I’m glad that as a teenager I came face to face with these facts: God created marriage as His divine plan, and created the first woman with the purpose to serve Him as a wife and mother, before any other endeavor she may pursue. God’s plan for her is not as a second-class slave, but an honored place of privilege. I agreed with God that, if He would allow me to serve and glorify Him in the ministry of being a wife and mother, I would count myself honored and blessed. I am 40 years blessed right now, and within my marriage the Lord has unveiled many opportunities to serve Him, while He continually amazes me with more.
Marriage is God’s perfect plan, carried out with imperfect people.
It’s true that we are sinners with a fallen nature and a selfish heart. Our faults and failures can surely make it seem impossible for marriage to last for the rest of our lives, let alone become a living illustration of happily ever after. But I need to hold on tightly to the perspective that failures in my marriage are related to my faults, not God’s. God’s plan is perfect, though I am not; He still honors and uses and blesses His divine design in our lives, and He’s abundantly able to work miracles when necessary, too.
The devil has so deviously lied to us, and one of his ‘angel of light’ whoppers is that the total aim and purpose of marrying the man of your dreams is to make you deliriously and eternally happy. Screeching brakes! Slow down just a cotton-picking minute. NOBODY -- no finite, fallen, faulty human can MAKE you happy. If you have not found your joy and fulfillment and identity in the Person and Presence of God Himself and a relationship with Him as His child, then your misery and disillusionment will probably just be multiplied by getting married to find happiness. No fallible person, regardless of how much they want to make you happy, is capable of presenting you with a gift-wrapped fulfillment of all your unrealistic dreams.
True joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit that can only come from Him doing His work in our hearts. It’s been said that there is a God-sized hole in our hearts from the day that we are born, and most people spend a lifetime trying to fill it with everything but God. Your heart cannot be whole and complete until you have received Jesus Christ and trusted His payment at Calvary to pay your sin-debt.
From the point of our salvation we embark on a life-long adventure of getting to know Him and enjoying our blessed ‘place to belong’ as a born again child in the family of God. We’ve also learned that our lives are a constant relationship of getting right, getting close, and getting in tune with the Lord. Joy in our lives is dependent upon our relationship with the Lord first, before our relationship to our husbands.
Looking back, I can see clearly that I had to get over myself and my expectations, and change my view of marriage from getting to giving. Instead of expecting my husband to make me happy, I needed to focus on how to put a smile on his face, and how the two of us together, as one flesh, can please the Lord and make Him happy.
I need to view my marriage as a ministry of, “What can I do for you?” outwardly giving instead of selfishly expecting to receive. The whole Christian life is about selflessness, humility, and giving instead of getting. How did I ever get the idea that God’s design for love, romance and marriage was any different? Oh that’s right, the devil has been lying to me (his job description) for my whole life! When I change my expectations, God can change my heart, and I can be very happy in this opportunity to serve and please the Lord which is my home and family.
Emotions (especially for us as ladies) tend to be an up-and-down roller coaster ride, so emotions are a poor grading system for your marriage. I’m thankful that marriage includes many, many happy moments and memories, and the closer we can get to God’s intended plan, the happier it can be. “God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.” (Psalm 68:6) “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” (Genesis 1:27)
“And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:23-24) By the way, isn’t it interesting that God chose to outline this ‘leave and cleave’ command before there were any parents and childhood homes to leave behind? From the very inception, and before sin entered the picture, God said that next to our daily walk with Him, the most important and treasured relationship in my life is my marriage and I need to invest myself completely.
It’s been said that emotions are a good servant and a bad master, and no where in life is that a more accurate statement. To make you happy is not the right goal for your marriage. A much more successful plan for a happy marriage is found in serving one another, preferring one another, and showing true love, which is doing what is best for the object of my love, regardless of personal expense.
Exhibiting real kindness, courtesy, compassion and Christianity starts at home, in putting each other ahead of self. “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands;... Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.” (I Peter 3:1-9)
Though we are weak and faulty, God’s plan is not. His way is still the best way.
God loves marriage, because it is His plan, which is why the devil hates it.
Probably every husband or wife has at some time come to the realization that their marriage is in need of God’s miracle. But I doubt if very many of us have thought of it in this context: Since marriage is God’s design, then every marriage requires God’s miracle-working power. That’s the rule, not the exception.
The devil hates God and God’s plan. He is out to destroy everything that is precious to God’s heart, including you and your spouse, along with your marriage. I don’t think we give him enough credit, and we often blame one another for the havoc and disharmony that he is able to stir up between us.
This is a small excerpt from a booklet I wrote several years ago, titled Avoiding Shipwreck In Your RelationShips. “Prayer is probably the most important ingredient in every relationship.... We need to ask the Lord to protect our most vital relationships from the onslaught of the devil. You see, the devil knows the truth of the statement I made in the beginning -- if he can destroy my relationships, he can destroy my life. I think we are going to be extremely surprised when we reach eternity to look back and realize how many of the complications we faced in our relationships were straight from Satan and we blamed them on one another.
“My husband talks about fights that he got into before he was saved, and how some were for no reason at all. He had a few chums who liked to cause trouble and really liked to see him get into a fight. Some guy would say to him, ‘That guy over there is staring at you. I think he wants to see if he can take you.’ Then he’d walk by the other guy on his way to the restroom and say, ‘That big guy over there says if you don’t stop staring at him, he’s going to knock your block off.’ When he returned to the table he’d say, ‘That guy says you don’t scare him; he can take you any time.’ Before they knew it, two guys were trying to tear each other limb from limb who had no reason to fight with each other. They didn’t realize that someone else was causing their problems for his own entertainment.”
“Do you know that those troublemakers learned their tactics from the devil? That is exactly how he orchestrates many of our most destructive conflicts and wreaks havoc with our hearts and homes and friendships.”
“You know that they were talking about you when you walked in the room, don’t you? I’ll bet they were saying...”
“I know they said that they just didn’t feel well and were having a bad day, but you know they wouldn’t have said what they did if they hadn’t already been thinking it. Probably the only reason they were having a bad day is because they can’t stand being around you.”
“It’s not just forgetfulness, you know. It’s really that they just couldn’t care less.”
“Does the devil bombard you with destructive thoughts like he does the rest of us? If you listen to him, he’ll rip your relationships apart and you’ll have a ‘me against you’ mentality that drives you apart instead of a ‘me and you against the world’ mentality that will pull you closer.”
The devil hates God’s perfect plan for marriage, and he is not about to let anyone’s union go unchallenged. But remember, the Creator of marriage is also the Master of miracles; His power is sufficient and available to triumph over Satan’s attack, ready for every need, every day. “Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.” (I John 4:4) “Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place.” (II Corinthians 2:14)
Friend, I’m being repetitious on purpose. I want you to remember that the devil hates marriage, because God loves it. Not only that, but you need to realize that the devil hates YOUR marriage, and works deviously and ceaselessly to carry out his unchanging mode of operation -- steal, kill, destroy. “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10) That old devil is still the father of lies, who constantly whispers destructive falsehoods; we play right into his schemes when we give him a hearing.
Remember -- the devil vehemently hates and works to destroy your marriage. That’s why your marriage and your spouse need your pledge of prayer and protection, and your marriage always needs God’s miracle-working power.
So What Should We Do?
1) Invite the Master Miracle Worker into your Marriage. “And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.” It’s up to us to invite Christ into our marriage and our home, not just on the wedding day, but every single day of our lives. I have a precious memory from our wedding day when my husband and I knelt together and dedicated ourselves again to the Lord, asking Him to bless and use our marriage and our life together.
Proverbs 3:6 says, “In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” We need to acknowledge Him in our families, as in this reminder that once appeared on a plaque in many Christian homes. “Christ is the Head of this house, the Unseen Guest at every meal, the Silent Listener to every conversation.” Ecclesiastes says that two are better than one, and a three-fold cord is not quickly broken. We need to invite Jesus into our marriage and acknowledge and honor Him.
2) Follow His Instructions. Those servants just did what Jesus said, and Jesus responded with miracle-working power, far beyond their abilities and expectations. We need to follow His instructions. Act on His Word. Believe His Promise. Trust His Plan. Obey His commands. “His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.” (John 2:5) The Word of God contains His blueprint for a happy home, and we should continually study and implement every facet. Passages like Ephesians chapter 5, Colossians chapter 3, and I Peter chapter 3 ought to be studied and prayed over and made a part of the fabric of our lives and homes.
3) The Servants Knew. “When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants which drew the water knew;) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom,” One of the most exciting messages I’ve ever heard from this chapter was about the fact that the servants were the ones with first-hand knowledge about the miracle that had taken place, though the rest of the crowd at that wedding just thought the host had saved the best for last. To have a servant’s heart and to serve the Lord faithfully and humbly is a sure-fire way to get up close and personal with the miracle-working power of Christ. Being His servant is good for your marriage! The guests had not a clue, but the servants knew.
4) The Miraculous Marriage Just Keeps Getting Better. “And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now. This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on him.” When placed in the hands of the miracle working God, the commonplace becomes extraordinary. YOUR marriage can get better, sweeter, and happier with the touch of God. Your marriage can manifest forth His glory and be a witness that causes others to believe in Him. Don’t give up on your marriage, no matter how discouraged you might sometimes be.
The miracles of Christ began at a marriage, and they have never ceased. When we submit our hearts to the Lord and claim His promises, we can see His miracles take place. An unhappy marriage can be transformed into a very happy one. A happy home can become even happier. Blessings await. Families grow. Traditions are put into practice. Memories are cherished. There is no better plan for our lives as we grow older and closer to Heaven than a committed, loving marriage. “Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be!”
Is your marriage in need of our Lord’s miracle-working power? The most hopeless among us might look sadly at their failing relationship and say, “But it would take a miracle...” You’re in business, my friend! Isn’t it wonderful that the miracle-working God who designed marriage to begin with also has the power and wisdom to work every miracle needed in our lives, no matter how big or small, how public or private those needs may be.
At a marriage celebration, this BEGINNING of miracles took place -- but there is no END to the mighty power of God that is available to meet every need and answer every request.